The Life of a People Pleaser.

The Life of a People Pleaser.

People – Pleaser according to Susan Newman is ”

someone who wants everyone around them to be happy and they will do whatever is asked of them to



If you know me , you probably know that definition describes me in so m any ways and at first I truly thought that was something good about me like one of my good qualities but there’s a limit to everything and when you’re always trying to make other people happy and doing things just not to look bad well it’s annoying and frankly not a good trait.



Through self love you'll stand up for yourself and for what you believe and think is right for you including keeping yourself first in everything. Click To Tweet
 A week or two ago we were in church and these children were seated in front of us , there was this one kid who had been eating Chama ( not really sure what the English name for that is ) so she was eating  and the kids around her started asking for some and she kept giving the Chama away to the other kids instead of eating too , one kid who was very greedy kept on asking for more while she’d been given enough already but the little Chama girl kept on giving her.
  She said NO once and the other kid started crying , the girl with the chamas ran to her mother but as soon as she saw the girl crying for more she went back and gave her more chamas. Fast forward later my younger sister and I were discussing the incident then she mentioned that the girl with the chamas is like me , I am always trying to help and please other people even though I also need that same thing too. For the first time I actually thought about it and realised I am a people pleaser and it’s something I don’t want to be anymore.

Being a people pleaser is exhausting both for the mind, heart, soul and body too, because you’ll always be focused on how to make someone else happy while you should be focused on what YOU want for your self and what should make you happy.
I came into conclusion that in order to stop being a people pleaser you should first LOVE yourself,seriously the minute you do that you won’t take bullshit from anyone and through self love you’ll stand up for yourself and for what you believe and think is right for you including keeping yourself first in everything.

I love myself sometimes ,but I need to work on loving myself fully and in order to do that i need to keep myself first.When I turned 23 I promised myself I will do a better job of loving ME more, so this month I am searching for the things that make me happy or things that drain me inside and work on how I will stop being a people pleaser.

Being a people pleaser is exhausting for the mind, heart, soul and body too. Click To Tweet


SHOES : GIFT FROM A FRIEND ( Similar at Mr Price )

SKIRT : THRIFTED ( Also styled it as a dress here and a previous look here)






  1. March 2, 2017 / 2:00 pm

    its so good when you are trying to help others stay happy but again it shouldn’t cost your happiness. i have saved myself a lot of troubles by loving myself enough to sy no and walk away from a situation or a person… i have great respect for people like the chama girl. you look great… i should start thrifting

    • lehautestyle
      March 2, 2017 / 2:18 pm

      It’s a great feeling being the source of happiness to someone else but yes it should never cost your happiness … oh and yes you should start thrifting its sincerely one of my favorite things ever! And Thank you for reading my blog .

  2. March 3, 2017 / 12:12 am

    Thread on point..I also love how you styled the skirt

    • lehautestyle
      March 7, 2017 / 3:34 pm

      Thank you Chaxelle . X

  3. Jack
    March 5, 2017 / 1:04 am

    You look so classy and gorgeous! The kind of lady i´d never hesitate to lay my coat over a puddle for like in the old days just to keep your feet from getting wet…Or even lay flat on my back in it myself, if i didn´t have one, haha! 😉

    • lehautestyle
      March 7, 2017 / 3:34 pm

      Lovely lovely words . They made my day! Thank You so much Jack .x

  4. Dove
    March 8, 2017 / 9:45 am

    Love the look where did you get the hair from?

    • lehautestyle
      March 14, 2017 / 11:02 am

      Thank you , a store at sinza madukani.c

Leave a Reply